Alter Ego And Alternatives - II
ALTERNATIVE - Reality
After a few days his body started to give up. Bullet pierced pierced his brain from the middle. It was miracle he survived. Drenched in my own staircase of thoughts, i decided to take a stroll to "The Friends". As i approached the bar. I called her. I got busy tone after couple of rings. As i got closer I noticed she was with "The vampire guy". I crossed the friend to the bar next to it "Revelations". I took a corner seat so that i could have see her from the glass. Something was tearing myself apart from inside. I was still defying myself the reason for it. I picked up the menu, regularly i would have gone for beer. But i turned the page, red wine, I almost laughed at myself. I want to burn my throat today, "Blue on the rocks", i uttered to waiter. After streak of bottoms up i could see brother's face. He was still uttering, "Pity?". I was smiling myself as delirious psycho. I guess happiness is an art rather than state of mind. After that he left the seat. I could still see a mesmerizing smile on her face as if distance doesn't matter.
Suddenly I got a call from Tulika. It was a broken voice, i collected shattered words to create a sentence in my numb brain.
"He is no more"
World got stand still for the moment. As if, i can hear every minute detail of it. I recollected myself, i dialled "Friend", at the back of my mind i was thinking how i will gonna humor him. My problem is mine. There was couple of rings then a busy tone. I wasn't considering this case.I dialled her hesitently, still my trembling hands were not listening to my mind.. I was trying to ohrase the reason why i called, and yet again my encoumbered brain was not able to consider the case that it will be busy tone after couple of rings. And then she stood and moved towards the exit door. She turned towards the seat one more time to gather the memories once again then she left.
I paid my dues and went out of the bar. My legs tyrned towards the Pradeep's apartment. I still want to recollect whatever left of him. He has the habit of putting todos on a pice of paper so that no one may find it. It was locked down like a crime scene. I broke into it. As i broke into it, my phone got rang.
Friend - Pradeep. Are you there? I heard about it. I am sorry man.
There was a silence from my side. He realized he called at wrong time.
I began to search at his favourite place, his study table. Within his book i found one piece of paper. My hands almost denied to pick it up. As I opened it up.
" Self-immolation is impratical". Do play "Just breathe on my funeral"
There are times when your mind feels numb. You walk-out your fantasy land. You are born innocent, even a small glitch in human psyche, looks like a blunder to you. It seems fierce, unstoppable force that comes to devastate you in turn. But when youb open your eyes, you are all intact, but bit by bit you never realize you innocense drips away. A premature adult is born with deprived skelton to bear it. But still mind needs no boundaries, he dreams, he forms a neverland, a pice of perfect land. There will never anythin bad again in this land. Afterwards burden of years teach him its all in your hand. You try to save it, it distorts it and creates art, literature, childs plays, psychosis. Most of the times the burden of years tears them apart.But sometimes ecastasy of dreams leaks into adulthood. A restless dreamer walks on the land. It seems to the world you take sardonic pleasure out of pain. But your pleasure resides inside. You try to find a balance. But sometimes you fail. With a weary eye you try to find a balance. But sometimes you fail. You try to assimilate the neverland before you, before you can pull the trigger. Some are cremated some are buried, some remains just as a speck in your sub-conscious and the song floats.
Yes, I understand that every life must end, aw-huh,..As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh,..Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both handsthe ones I love,..
Some folks just have one,yeah, others, they've got none, huh-uh
Stay with me,..Let's just breathe.
Practiced are my sins,never gonna let me win, aw-huh,..Under everything, just another human being, aw-huh,..Yeah, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this worldto make me bleed.
Stay with me,..You're all I see.
Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,..No one knows this more than me.As I come clean.
I wonder everydayas I look upon your face, aw-huh,..Everything you gaveAnd nothing you would take, aw huh,..Nothing you would takeEverything you gave...
Did I say that I need you?Oh, did I say that I want you?Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,..No one knows this more than me.As I come clean, ah-ah...
Nothing you would take,..Everything you gave.Love you till I die,..
After a few days his body started to give up. Bullet pierced pierced his brain from the middle. It was miracle he survived. Drenched in my own staircase of thoughts, i decided to take a stroll to "The Friends". As i approached the bar. I called her. I got busy tone after couple of rings. As i got closer I noticed she was with "The vampire guy". I crossed the friend to the bar next to it "Revelations". I took a corner seat so that i could have see her from the glass. Something was tearing myself apart from inside. I was still defying myself the reason for it. I picked up the menu, regularly i would have gone for beer. But i turned the page, red wine, I almost laughed at myself. I want to burn my throat today, "Blue on the rocks", i uttered to waiter. After streak of bottoms up i could see brother's face. He was still uttering, "Pity?". I was smiling myself as delirious psycho. I guess happiness is an art rather than state of mind. After that he left the seat. I could still see a mesmerizing smile on her face as if distance doesn't matter.
Suddenly I got a call from Tulika. It was a broken voice, i collected shattered words to create a sentence in my numb brain.
"He is no more"
World got stand still for the moment. As if, i can hear every minute detail of it. I recollected myself, i dialled "Friend", at the back of my mind i was thinking how i will gonna humor him. My problem is mine. There was couple of rings then a busy tone. I wasn't considering this case.I dialled her hesitently, still my trembling hands were not listening to my mind.. I was trying to ohrase the reason why i called, and yet again my encoumbered brain was not able to consider the case that it will be busy tone after couple of rings. And then she stood and moved towards the exit door. She turned towards the seat one more time to gather the memories once again then she left.
I paid my dues and went out of the bar. My legs tyrned towards the Pradeep's apartment. I still want to recollect whatever left of him. He has the habit of putting todos on a pice of paper so that no one may find it. It was locked down like a crime scene. I broke into it. As i broke into it, my phone got rang.
Friend - Pradeep. Are you there? I heard about it. I am sorry man.
There was a silence from my side. He realized he called at wrong time.
I began to search at his favourite place, his study table. Within his book i found one piece of paper. My hands almost denied to pick it up. As I opened it up.
" Self-immolation is impratical". Do play "Just breathe on my funeral"
There are times when your mind feels numb. You walk-out your fantasy land. You are born innocent, even a small glitch in human psyche, looks like a blunder to you. It seems fierce, unstoppable force that comes to devastate you in turn. But when youb open your eyes, you are all intact, but bit by bit you never realize you innocense drips away. A premature adult is born with deprived skelton to bear it. But still mind needs no boundaries, he dreams, he forms a neverland, a pice of perfect land. There will never anythin bad again in this land. Afterwards burden of years teach him its all in your hand. You try to save it, it distorts it and creates art, literature, childs plays, psychosis. Most of the times the burden of years tears them apart.But sometimes ecastasy of dreams leaks into adulthood. A restless dreamer walks on the land. It seems to the world you take sardonic pleasure out of pain. But your pleasure resides inside. You try to find a balance. But sometimes you fail. With a weary eye you try to find a balance. But sometimes you fail. You try to assimilate the neverland before you, before you can pull the trigger. Some are cremated some are buried, some remains just as a speck in your sub-conscious and the song floats.
Yes, I understand that every life must end, aw-huh,..As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh,..Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both handsthe ones I love,..
Did I say that I want you?Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,..No one knows this more than me.As I come clean.
posted by off roady @ 12:02 PM
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